Checking in with Your Mental Health: A How-To Guide

How are you today? How are you, really? How do we even begin to start honest conversations that dig deeper beyond, “Oh, I’m good, thanks.” and “I’m okay…” ? As students and artists, our minds are always bumbling with creative ideas, project deadlines, critique feedback, and not to mention, the emotional strife of navigating life as a young adult. Career life and personal life can hold unforeseen circumstances throughout one semester and feelings and mental battles can arise that we weren’t prepared for and don’t know how to understand. Similarly, we can wish to understand and relieve our friends and peers of their mental and emotional burdens, but at the end of the day, we don’t know how they’ll respond to, “How are you doing, really?”

This past winter, I was stricken with wonder as one of my treasured friends trusted my hands with a poster titled Effective Ways to Check-In. The guide listed ways my friend wanted to be supported going forward into Spring Semester and how they would most appreciate my care. Their vulnerability was beautiful and inspiring and has been incredibly helpful for me in understanding how I can give them my support and love most effectively. Their guide also encouraged me to reflect and honor my own mental health needs as learning how to check-in with yourself and others is a key part of balancing both your emotional and mental health. I thought to myself, “Wow! A check-in guide like this would be great for everyone!” That’s why I decided to write this article: to make a personal mental health check-in guide accessible to everyone. 

I noticed I needed a guide because I realized that people wanted to help me but didn’t know how, and so I figured I should have a proactive tool for them to use, and I thought about when I help my friends, I know them so well, I can help them. But not everyone responds in the same way, so that’s why I wanted to create something where I could help people help me—and help themselves. —Ashlynn Micolicyzk ’22

I caught up with Beth Stockinger from MCAD’s Student Counseling and Wellness department, as well as students Ashlynn Micoliczyk ’22 and Bea Morrow ’23, to discuss their experiences and give tips on learning how to check in with yourself and your friends.

Step One: self-reflection

Before you trust others with your emotional and mental health, you have to learn to trust yourself and understand your emotional and mental needs without judgment. Everybody’s stress and anxiety processes are different, so remember to have grace on yourself when identifying your own mental health patterns. 

Here are some key questions to get you started:

• How am I feeling today? (Pause for a moment of consideration)
• What’s been worrying me lately?
• What are some physical signs I experience that indicate an increase in stress and/or anxiety?
• Am I providing my body with its basic needs?
• How do I experience joy both from myself and from others?

If you are having trouble with this last question, maybe try identifying your love language! The five love languages are words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch but any one or any combination of these can be a match for you. There are lots of resources online to help you both recognize your love language and gain some ideas for how to incorporate it into your mental health routine. 

Bea advocates for taking note of your headspace and ensuring your projects serve you. She shares that her self care routine includes making sure to check in with herself emotionally and mentally for the duration of a project, as well as engaging the senses for a piece of joy and comfort. 

[Self care] really benefits everybody, especially as students. To be able to give yourself some time to not be stressing over your next art project or be wondering about how the social element of a critique is going to go. That’s just not a place we need to be in all the time, so to find a few minutes to engage in something we love whether it’s other art or nothing at all, I just think there’s a lot of beauty in that. —Bea Morrow

Step Two: writing it down

Now that you have an idea on how your body and your mind respond to emotional and mental health concerns, make sure to write it down or type it up, and keep it in a safe space to reflect on. Having a comprehensive list will help to inform what you’d like to include in your guide. Here are some sample topics that might work for you, but don’t feel pressured to include all of them. Everybody’s guide will be different, and I want you to pick the topics that will be most effective for you. 

• Questions I would like you to ask me to check-in with me 
• Exterior signs that indicate I am feeling stressed or anxious
• Key components of my mental health routine
• Affirmations / physical affections that help me feel cared for
• Appreciated acts of service / gifts
• Ways to spend quality time / activities that bring me joy 

Step Three: making your guide

One of the coolest things about art students (aside from their perseverance, hello! Yes, I’m looking at you, every single one of you) is their ability to make anything visually outstanding. You can create your guide traditionally or with any software programs that have the typography and design elements you’d like to include. Ex. Photoshop, InDesign, Canva, etc. 

No time? That’s okay too! Here are a few sample PDF downloads you can use instead of starting from scratch: 

• Template 1
• Template 2
• Template 3

Ashlynn’s words of wisdom, “Treat yourself with grace. Whether you create a minimal sketch or a fully designed poster does not matter. As long as you have some type of prepared framework, the chances of better outcomes increase.”

Step Four: sharing your guide 

[Sharing about mental health] takes willingness to learn one’s self a little more and then trying to understand oneself a little bit. Then, the people who are safe; what I call the inner circle people, they might be family, friends at home, current friends; but the handful of people who might be safe, those would be the people to talk to, and how to do it would be to say, ‘I’m having a rough time right now. Can I tell you about it? Can we check in with each other when we want support?’ It’s practicing being able to be vulnerable openingly with a few people, not everybody, but a few people that you’re pretty sure will understand. —Beth Stockinger

As Beth notes above, one of the essential components of balancing mental health is having trusted friends and/or family in your corner, a support system if you will, a two-sided relationship in which you can trust your emotions and mental health challenges with the other person. It’s okay to feel nervous in a state of vulnerability such as sharing your mental health check-in guide, but if you trust the right person or people, they will accept your guide with support and open arms. They already love you, and they’re already proud of you! 

And I’m proud of you too! Thank you for reading this little how-to on creating your own mental health check-in guide and engaging more vulnerable conversations on checking in with yourself and loved ones.  Your mental health matters and so do you as a member of MCAD’s community. We’re all here for you. 

*I am happy to write this article, but also I am not a professional nor is this content intended to substitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. For any questions or concerns that go beyond this article, the MCAD Student Wellness and Counseling Center is always welcoming and encouraging to students and can be reached via email bstockinger@mcad.edu.